she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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