farters have to be the big spoon...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize