Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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