The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
