Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water

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  (914): so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water http://tfl.nu/wymr
  Replies (3) Good night (638) Bad night (896)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.

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  (773): i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink. http://tfl.nu/eils
  Replies (25) Good night (3335) Bad night (526)
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  (415): View more from California

  I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.

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  (415): I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me. http://tfl.nu/6ugc
  Replies (15) Good night (691) Bad night (2103)
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  (646): View more from New York

  My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...

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  (646): My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play... http://tfl.nu/zidw
  Replies (17) Good night (1442) Bad night (4110)
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  (805): View more from California

  In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career

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  (805): In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career http://tfl.nu/rhke
  Replies (18) Good night (4557) Bad night (551)
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  (+44): View more from England

  So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?

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  (+44): So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'? http://tfl.nu/cyi6
  Replies (28) Good night (838) Bad night (3120)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog

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  (561): I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog http://tfl.nu/8q9l
  Replies (34) Good night (5417) Bad night (769)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life

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  (507): Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life http://tfl.nu/jtus
  Replies (21) Good night (3484) Bad night (566)
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  (347): View more from New York

  she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.

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  (347): she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick. http://tfl.nu/o2a1
  Replies (4) Good night (833) Bad night (3668)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.

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  (513): I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again. http://tfl.nu/s5qg
  Replies (9) Good night (1432) Bad night (3481)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.

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  (501): I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to. http://tfl.nu/jfhh
  Replies (10) Good night (1048) Bad night (3234)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep

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  (806): Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep http://tfl.nu/b11i
  Replies (8) Good night (1854) Bad night (784)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift

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  (406): Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift http://tfl.nu/uiqc
  Replies (3) Good night (804) Bad night (1127)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from

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  (864): I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from http://tfl.nu/mmap
  Replies (1) Good night (245) Bad night (426)
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  (347): View more from New York

  My day in three words: secret purse cake

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  (347): My day in three words: secret purse cake http://tfl.nu/hy52
  Replies (4) Good night (542) Bad night (183)

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