Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.