To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
did i walk over a car last night?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
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I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me