I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!