Who did Billy Mays play for?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight