With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing