Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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