Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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