8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
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