So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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