Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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