You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize