dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So squirting runs in the family.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Randomize
