bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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