is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
