How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
