SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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