bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
