dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
