If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
