i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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