Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
