four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
