I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
