I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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