I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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