Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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