if you like me you must not know who I am
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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