Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
