Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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