Duck Duck Cougar?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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