kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Sorry my hands just texted you
NoShamevember. You game?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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