Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
