You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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