Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
