are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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