we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
