He disabled his match.com account in front of me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
