i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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