im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
