Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
