Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Boobs are out for the taking
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I wear drunk well.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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