Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
