Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Shame is for Republicans.
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