:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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