We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
