Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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