I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
