am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
