There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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