Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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