I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
