If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Michael Bay diarrhea
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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