BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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