what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
