so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
