I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
