Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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