fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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