Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
